Miss Lys

who is this awesome, funny, super intelligent genius of questionable ethical standings with a taste for design as well as running around half naked in a desert covered in body paint?

that would be me, Miss Lys.

what is all that shit behind me you ask? well that would be my poor Yaris, positively pregnant with everything i went to Burning Man* with.
now, i found a funny bumper sticker once and feel it probably does the best to sum me up. are you ready for this? its down right modern Shakespearean here.

"I don't have 'hobbies' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set"

so how do i go about introducing myself? im not sure. i am not fond of labeling people, but most often thats how we identify people. so i guess in no particular order....

-i am an accomplished welder.
-i am ex-military and proud of it (lets not get politicy**)
-i love to draw and am entirely self taught and desperately want to go to school for art
-i am a motorcycle mechanic, i can work on anything but im certified for Harley Davidson and Suzuki
-i love to sew. my grandmum taught me how to use a machine... i was even stopped one on the streets of St. Pete beach by a woman who wanted to know what designer i was wearing (something I MADE!!! YAY!)
-i graduated high school with honors, got a very impressive score on my ASVAB and always score in the top 5-10%
-i am disabled. true story. ill go into it sometime maybe.
-i am a super nerd and think quantum physics is neato... Popular Mechanics and Architectural Digest are my super naughty guilty pleasure reads- they give me goosebumps.
-i am the oldest of three girls and all my cousins and i am frighteningly protective of all of them to include but not limit assaulting someone with a 2x4.... sorry Mr. Bean.
-i love to cook, especially for people because i really enjoy an excuse to eat fabulous food in large amounts

i have been called many things over the years. some of them good, some of them bad. like my favorite. i dont mind being called a cunt. i think it has something to do with the fact that in my head that word conjures images of a flaky french pastry with a raspberry or peach filling and a lightly whipped cream dollop with a light coating of jimmies (which apparently are sprinkles...i guess we new englanders are weird). so every time i hear cunt i just get hungry for dessert.

ive been called a dyke. also funny to me. i am not called one because i enjoy the company of fabulous women, which i do, and i absolutely love them- but because i have short hair. so just in case you havent heard, the length or lack there of determines your sexuality.

which is also something i feel i may have to clarify. i am not a lesbian. i am not straight. i am not bisexual. bisexual just conjures images of college aged women making out with each other drunkenly for attention in my mind. i love personality. i dont give a flying fuck what you look like, what sex you are or what race you are. let me repeat that. I DONT FUCKING CARE WHAT SEX YOU ARE, WHAT RACE YOU ARE, OR WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. i think you are beautiful. you are you. and nothing and no one should change that.

i love personality, and that is what gets me all hot an bothered. so if you can make me laugh or smile- you just got an admit one ticket. but that being said. yes i do have preferences. if you have short, kind of spiky blond hair and a dirty mouth and you are a mechanic. hot damn, dont mind if i threaten to rape you.... or at least let me bite your butt cheek. do you have smouldering eyes and reek of bad decisions? count me in.

some things i really like?

earth tones, music, art, cats, listening to moving water, burning man, freedom of expression, freedom of speech, tattoos, piercings, body modification, gaming, dungeons and dragons, writing, painting, sculpting, learning, motorcycles, metal, building stuff, walking, sunsets, sun rises, stars, lions, leo stuff, bonfires, being a designated driver, road trips, sewing, curling up in my bed under all my super high thread count sheets, shooting the shit for hours with my best friend, watching movies, traveling, making people laugh, hanging out with old people, mentoring young people, dreaming, being politically active, cooking, eating, giving people things, comic books and graphic novels, monkeys with wings

what dont i like?
ass hats, badly behaved pets, children under the age of 23, rude people, road rage, distracted drivers, fascists, people who insult the uniform they wear, most political leaders, our current government system, monkeys, popular fashion that makes no sense like ugg boots and mini skirts paired together, cookie cutter people, ignorance, harmful drugs be they legal or otherwise, pork products (sorry), teen moms (children shouldnt raise children), celebrities that are famous for absolutely nothing worthwhile (yah, im looking at you tila, jersey shore, paris), judgemental pricks, really drunk guys, cinnamon

bored? these are my babies. i love them more that anything in the world and if someone hurts them i will seriously shove my fist down their throat and watch them die from a lack of oxygen- or that i would be crushing their heart in my hand with a smile on my face.

the first one is mr beast. dont worry, he isnt dead. he sleeps like that. i think its because someone tried to drown him when he was a very young kitten. he also makes fatty grunt noises and drools.

the second cat is mrs. foo foos. she is my big, beautiful girl. also another cat i rescued. her previous owners decided to abort the littler she was carrying by stomping on her. so when i found her all stuck in a cast and terrified of anything that moved, i spent seven months nursing her back to health. she is now a princess and demands you acknowledge her as such.

i am currently in my mid twenties. i guess i am a student, or disabled, or retired. it depends how you want to look at it.

im something of a philosopher. i like to help people and talk about all sorts of stuff. ive been told i am a spirit animal to people. and that just makes me think of this

...'nuff said.

want to more? ask. i would love to talk.

*Burning Man is fucking amazing. do it. go. buy a ticket and bring gifts and enjoy every eye opening moment. be good to one another.

**i love a good political debate, so be careful if you get me going.

***i got really hurt in a magical place referred to as 'the sandbox', or 'the desert' and should not be confused with any location in America, and that led to some pretty shitty brain trauma.

 i leave you with this.